








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3443 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2370 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3861 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2250 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,982 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krulle | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Boba und Tino ❤ | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | DerDude | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | yoganilpferd | 54% | 37 |
| #5 | Ludo | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ludo | 51% | 45 |
| #6 | roin | 50% | 177 |
| #7 | Nieltzh | 49% | 168 |
| #8 | Fire | 49% | 65 |
| #9 | Restmüll | 45% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nieltzh | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | roin | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Ludo | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Restmüll | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | yoganilpferd | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerDude | 354 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Krulle | 166 | 0.41 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fire | 149 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Restmüll | 133 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | roin | 114 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | +2.55 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | DerDude | +0.91 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | roin | +0.64 | 81 | 43 |
| #4 | Boba und Tino ❤ | +0.37 | 36 | 63 |
| #5 | yoganilpferd | -0.99 | 73 | 60 |





