








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 506 | 16% |
| Smokes | 489 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1584 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,269,569 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerDuden | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | PalettenStapel | 49% | 168 |
| #3 | Krulle | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | roin | 46% | 147 |
| #5 | Restmüll | 45% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DerDude | 41% | 78 |
| #9 | Ludo | 40% | 50 |
| #10 | Boba und Tino ❤ | 38% | 39 |
| #11 | jojo wan Kenobi | 33% | 27 |
| #12 | señor fefee<3 | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Ludo | 12 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | roin | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | señor fefee<3 | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Restmüll | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PalettenStapel | 670 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Krulle | 329 | 0.38 | 7 min |
| #3 | DerDude | 283 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Fire | 198 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Restmüll | 188 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerDuden | +4.29 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | PalettenStapel | +2.87 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | DerDude | +1.48 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | roin | +0.79 | 81 | 41 |
| #5 | Boba und Tino ❤ | +0.30 | 44 | 56 |





