








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2912 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1849 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 868 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2265 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,785 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eVERbEAN | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Cinder | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | aesor | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | 520 | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | stm | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | hdzywOo | 48% | 116 |
| #10 | Unsnappy | 46% | 74 |
| #11 | eoN | 44% | 101 |
| #12 | Gab | 41% | 54 |
| #13 | Zahzi | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | eoN | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Richter | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | stm | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Zahzi | 5 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 413 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | Richter | 312 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | eoN | 292 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | hdzywOo | 262 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Unsnappy | 195 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eVERbEAN | +4.97 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | masor | +3.14 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Richter | +2.14 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | eoN | +1.69 | 87 | 62 |
| #5 | Cinder | +1.66 | 81 | 56 |





