








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4063 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2355 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2529 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,212 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1977 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 520 | 62% | 68 |
| #2 | Richter | 56% | 104 |
| #3 | Zahzi | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | eoN | 56% | 90 |
| #5 | stm | 54% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Evan | 49% | 73 |
| #8 | hdzywOo | 48% | 93 |
| #9 | Unsnappy | 47% | 74 |
| #10 | aesor | 46% | 71 |
| #11 | Gab | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richter | 15 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Evan | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | hdzywOo | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | stm | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | aesor | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richter | 335 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Evan | 264 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | hdzywOo | 260 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | eoN | 259 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Unsnappy | 195 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masor | +2.88 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Freshly shitted underwear | +1.75 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | Richter | +1.67 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | Zahzi | +1.37 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | eoN | +1.29 | 88 | 63 |





