








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2571 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2079 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1451 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1130 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,365 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 377 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zahzi | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | AuGratin | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | masor | 62% | 102 |
| #4 | Freshly shitted underwear | 56% | 104 |
| #5 | Unsnappy | 54% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | hdzywOo | 50% | 139 |
| #10 | Evan | 49% | 113 |
| #11 | eoN | 49% | 103 |
| #12 | aesor | 43% | 30 |
| #13 | Gab | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | hdzywOo | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | stm | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | eoN | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Cinder | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 674 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| #2 | hdzywOo | 380 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Evan | 379 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Unsnappy | 289 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | eoN | 283 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masor | +2.73 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Richter | +2.10 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | Freshly shitted underwear | +1.73 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | AuGratin | +1.13 | 88 | 45 |
| #5 | eoN | +0.62 | 86 | 61 |





