








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2584 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2319 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2779 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2526 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,773 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 768 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masor | 65% | 83 |
| #2 | 520 | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | Richter | 50% | 139 |
| #4 | Freshly shitted underwear | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | Evan | 48% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Unsnappy | 46% | 97 |
| #8 | eoN | 44% | 108 |
| #9 | Zahzi | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | Gab | 40% | 70 |
| #11 | stm | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 14 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Richter | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | eoN | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Evan | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | stm | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly shitted underwear | 595 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #2 | Richter | 424 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Evan | 397 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | eoN | 289 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Unsnappy | 257 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masor | +3.61 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Richter | +1.91 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | eoN | +1.19 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | Freshly shitted underwear | +1.14 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | Unsnappy | -0.12 | 68 | 62 |





