








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1556 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 312 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 916 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,955 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J2 | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | matt-E | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | OZZYw00d | 59% | 66 |
| #4 | JohnFortnite | 59% | 190 |
| #5 | Boiled Eggs | 58% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | matt-E | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | OZZYw00d | 59% | 66 |
| #4 | JohnFortnite | 59% | 190 |
| #5 | Boiled Eggs | 58% | 31 |
| #6 | ender | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnFortnite | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | OZZYw00d | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | J2 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Boiled Eggs | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnFortnite | 327 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | OZZYw00d | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | J2 | 172 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | matt-E | 148 | 0.47 | 4 min |
| #5 | Boiled Eggs | 134 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OZZYw00d | +1.68 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Ni3Fe | +1.42 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | J2 | +0.95 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | ender | +0.16 | 64 | 38 |
| #5 | matt-E | +0.00 | 71 | 76 |





