








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 950 matches | ||
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15221 | 34% |
| Smokes | 13619 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8490 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6829 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,959,034 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ni3Fe | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | JohnFortnite | 58% | 114 |
| #3 | GTFO | 55% | 109 |
| #4 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | 54% | 93 |
| #5 | pistol pete | 53% | 447 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Fragget | 48% | 171 |
| #8 | Dickie | 48% | 103 |
| #9 | Ashley Schaeffer | 47% | 128 |
| #10 | ender | 46% | 410 |
| #11 | matt-E | 44% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pistol pete | 29 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Boiled Eggs | 25 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ender | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Fragget | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Dickie | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boiled Eggs | 1406 | 0.17 | 38 min |
| #2 | matt-E | 1293 | 0.40 | 39 min |
| #3 | pistol pete | 886 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #4 | Ashley Schaeffer | 568 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | ender | 332 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | +3.09 | 74 | 39 |
| #2 | Ni3Fe | +1.18 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | OZZYw00d | +0.70 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Dickie | +0.60 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | ender | +0.17 | 58 | 42 |





