








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 896 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14646 | 27% |
| Smokes | 16749 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 12066 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11335 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,962,190 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTFO | 54% | 147 |
| #2 | Fragget | 51% | 217 |
| #3 | JohnFortnite | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | matt-E | 50% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ender | 50% | 430 |
| #7 | 606^ | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | OZZYw00d | 49% | 378 |
| #9 | pistol pete | 48% | 265 |
| #10 | Ashley Schaeffer | 40% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ender | 18 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | GTFO | 18 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | pistol pete | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | OZZYw00d | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Fragget | 13 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OZZYw00d | 1393 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #2 | matt-E | 1296 | 0.45 | 38 min |
| #3 | pistol pete | 475 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ender | 404 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #5 | GTFO | 322 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | +2.60 | 75 | 39 |
| #2 | 606^ | +1.76 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | Ashley Schaeffer | +1.27 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | OZZYw00d | +1.02 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | matt-E | +0.77 | 61 | 73 |





