








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1420 matches | ||
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 91,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 38073 | 42% |
| Smokes | 20373 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 20423 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 12455 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,343,852 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 52% | 123 |
| #2 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | 51% | 230 |
| #3 | Abe | 51% | 197 |
| #4 | Boiled Eggs | 50% | 134 |
| #5 | ender | 49% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ender | 49% | 284 |
| #6 | Nemo | 47% | 174 |
| #7 | Fragget | 47% | 96 |
| #8 | OZZYw00d | 44% | 147 |
| #9 | TEANIE PEANIR | 41% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Abe | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Nemo | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | OZZYw00d | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 692 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | 537 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | OZZYw00d | 479 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Boiled Eggs | 476 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | TEANIE PEANIR | 433 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | +3.17 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | +2.17 | 73 | 36 |
| #3 | Abe | +1.85 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | ender | +0.16 | 65 | 40 |
| #5 | matt-E | -0.14 | 61 | 75 |





