








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 799 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12446 | 38% |
| Smokes | 11891 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5211 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3505 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,913,678 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENGLEBERT HUMPER DINKSON | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | JohnFortnite | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | Moon Man Bing Bong | 55% | 100 |
| #4 | ✪ Piper | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | CougarFucker | 48% | 142 |





