








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2673 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2118 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2977 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1684 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,746,661 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooh | 63% | 87 |
| #2 | Ni3Fe | 59% | 190 |
| #3 | OZZYw00d | 58% | 114 |
| #4 | J2 | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | matt-E | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | matt-E | 56% | 25 |
| #6 | Boiled Eggs | 51% | 93 |
| #7 | pistol pete | 50% | 54 |
| #8 | ender | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | Ashley Schaeffer | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OZZYw00d | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Boiled Eggs | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Ni3Fe | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Pooh | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | J2 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ni3Fe | 413 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | OZZYw00d | 408 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Boiled Eggs | 400 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | J2 | 358 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #5 | matt-E | 261 | 0.50 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OZZYw00d | +1.89 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Ni3Fe | +1.68 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | J2 | +1.62 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | matt-E | +1.48 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | Pooh | +0.65 | 63 | 36 |





