








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Renown | 27 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,999 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3789 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2887 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4067 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3473 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,549 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cit | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | SwooSh | 56% | 179 |
| #3 | yÖbi | 54% | 265 |
| #4 | Pragmatic | 54% | 119 |
| #5 | Ke2 | 53% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yÖbi | 54% | 265 |
| #4 | Pragmatic | 54% | 119 |
| #5 | Ke2 | 53% | 233 |
| #6 | Spøkelse | 52% | 58 |
| #7 | Versus | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yÖbi | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Ke2 | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SwooSh | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Pragmatic | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Cit | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yÖbi | 814 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | Ke2 | 304 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Pragmatic | 278 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Spøkelse | 257 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | SwooSh | 251 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yÖbi | +3.22 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | AndyB | +0.50 | 62 | 69 |
| #3 | Ke2 | -0.49 | 53 | 55 |
| #4 | Pragmatic | -0.62 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | Cit | -0.66 | 53 | 73 |





