








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,941 | |
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3236 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5139 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3569 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4236 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3344 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,261 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomaly | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | kkl | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | Jaffe | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | eLoN mOiSt | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | eviss | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | knx[9] | 49% | 69 |
| #14 | Plainy | 49% | 136 |
| #15 | Scout^ | 44% | 25 |
| #16 | Zippox | 41% | 17 |
| #17 | JK | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plainy | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | eLoN mOiSt | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | yÖbi | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | knx[9] | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | zb0t | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plainy | 352 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | zb0t | 261 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | AndyB | 178 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | yÖbi | 151 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | eviss | 123 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomaly | +8.29 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | stoffz | +3.72 | 92 | 70 |
| #3 | yÖbi | +2.99 | 82 | 76 |
| #4 | AndyB | +0.79 | 57 | 75 |
| #5 | kkl | +0.56 | 56 | 60 |





