








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 964 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2721 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5506 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3808 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4188 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,414,463 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cit | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | AndyB | 56% | 179 |
| #3 | yÖbi | 55% | 124 |
| #4 | Ke2 | 54% | 114 |
| #5 | Pragmatic | 53% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chickev | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | AndyB | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | yÖbi | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Ke2 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Pragmatic | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyB | 548 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | yÖbi | 406 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Chickev | 280 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pragmatic | 256 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ke2 | 147 | 0.06 | 4 min |





