








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 206 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 1,896 | |
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2468 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2287 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2111 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,684 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndyB | 54% | 119 |
| #2 | SwooSh | 53% | 101 |
| #3 | yÖbi | 52% | 325 |
| #4 | Ke2 | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Versus | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SwooSh | 53% | 101 |
| #3 | yÖbi | 52% | 325 |
| #4 | Ke2 | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Versus | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | Skwap | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yÖbi | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | AndyB | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Ke2 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | SwooSh | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yÖbi | 544 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | AndyB | 381 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | SwooSh | 141 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ke2 | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Skwap | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yÖbi | +3.77 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | AndyB | +0.60 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | Versus | +0.32 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Skwap | -0.00 | 82 | 49 |
| #5 | Pragmatic | -0.28 | 71 | 51 |





