








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 31% |
| Smokes | 517 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 598 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 468 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,642 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KooJii | 68% | 19 |
| #8 | Kkammos | 67% | 46 |
| #9 | SMiLY | 67% | 12 |
| #10 | janki | 60% | 20 |
| #11 | dj | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMiLY | 7 | 0.0279 |
| #2 | Art0♚ | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | BAITO | 3 | 0.0566 |
| #4 | Kkammos | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | KooJii | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kkammos | 167 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Art0♚ | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | janki | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | KooJii | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | SMiLY | 29 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jääkarhupurkka | +7.60 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | dj | +2.92 | 67 | 38 |
| #3 | Teuv0 | +2.06 | 73 | 78 |
| #4 | Art0♚ | +1.41 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | janki | +0.35 | 54 | 57 |





