








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2795 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3104 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2388 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2183 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,797 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NuGzMeister | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | HeimoBoy | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | Jokke | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Khasq | 56% | 101 |
| #5 | n0rppa | 55% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Blade of Saeldor | 46% | 37 |
| #17 | M8 | 45% | 55 |
| #18 | Mathe | 44% | 18 |
| #19 | tappo nugetti | 39% | 18 |
| #20 | Рэй <> | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PSOTY | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | lystimpi | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Iikkaaaa | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | M8 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | stemu | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | 637 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | Khasq | 396 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | PSOTY | 352 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Johnny F. Raider | 262 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | n0rppa | 173 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natzku☂ | +3.42 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.46 | 78 | 81 |
| #3 | PSOTY | +2.09 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | stemu | +1.81 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Kakkanen | +1.51 | 77 | 80 |





