








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2890 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2063 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1985 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $485,128 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flattsful | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Jokerbrain | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Crackbaby<3 | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Haze | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | AJ | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | lawlkay | 57% | 69 |
| #12 | myst-ical ballz | 51% | 39 |
| #13 | Zoot | 47% | 30 |
| #14 | trapzyy | 38% | 16 |
| #15 | Tom | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myst-ical ballz | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Zoot | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Flattsful | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | c4put-- | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | lawlkay | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElephanT | 449 | 0.32 | 11 min |
| #2 | Iceo LFT | 239 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #3 | lawlkay | 192 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Flattsful | 139 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kezza | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokerbrain | +3.32 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | ElephanT | +2.58 | 94 | 69 |
| #3 | Flattsful | +2.27 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | c4put-- | +2.00 | 90 | 58 |
| #5 | AJ | +1.93 | 44 | 79 |





