










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 240 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5199 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4397 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2221 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3173 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,438 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | harbor | 62% | 111 |
| #2 | a idiot | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | Kezza | 61% | 124 |
| #4 | Coach Parnell | 59% | 63 |
| #5 | myst-ical ballz | 59% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Coach Parnell | 59% | 63 |
| #5 | myst-ical ballz | 59% | 63 |
| #6 | lawlkay | 58% | 206 |
| #7 | Lebbie007 | 57% | 40 |
| #8 | camille | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lawlkay | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | myst-ical ballz | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Kezza | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Coach Parnell | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | a idiot | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | harbor | 695 | 0.29 | 18 min |
| #2 | lawlkay | 487 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | a idiot | 329 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kezza | 301 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Coach Parnell | 243 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElephanT | +1.77 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | lawlkay | +1.74 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | a idiot | +1.46 | 89 | 72 |
| #4 | harbor | +0.45 | 81 | 74 |
| #5 | camille | +0.24 | 73 | 70 |





