








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 358 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6454 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5794 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2844 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4794 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,247,607 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 69% | 52 |
| #2 | AJ | 69% | 71 |
| #3 | Coach Parnell | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Its Coming Home Blud (4) | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | Haze | 58% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 478 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Its Coming Home Blud (4) | 236 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | AJ | 189 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | pixie | 169 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Coach Parnell | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJ | +3.16 | 62 | 77 |
| #2 | pixie | +1.31 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Iceo LFT | +1.27 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | Haze | -0.10 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | swan | -0.26 | 78 | 60 |





