








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4024 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3945 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2878 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3978 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,274 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DxM | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | gaming | 74% | 42 |
| #3 | Sudo | 73% | 147 |
| #4 | BajaeR | 69% | 45 |
| #5 | ji₥ | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kezza | 62% | 69 |
| #9 | ElephanT | 59% | 63 |
| #10 | ariashark | 56% | 48 |
| #11 | lawlkay | 56% | 75 |
| #12 | Coach Parnell | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sudo | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | zundo | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | ariashark | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | BajaeR | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | DxM | 4 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElephanT | 535 | 0.41 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sudo | 293 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | ariashark | 247 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | lawlkay | 237 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kezza | 190 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaming | +3.89 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | myst-ical ballz | +2.62 | 88 | 68 |
| #3 | zundo | +2.25 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | ElephanT | +1.72 | 93 | 75 |
| #5 | lawlkay | +1.41 | 86 | 62 |





