








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2695 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3010 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3742 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,309,212 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myst-ical ballz | 62% | 69 |
| #2 | ElephanT | 61% | 124 |
| #3 | lawlkay | 61% | 128 |
| #4 | Coach Parnell | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Fragon | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fragon | 60% | 20 |
| #6 | a idiot | 58% | 31 |
| #7 | harbor | 52% | 93 |
| #8 | camille | 42% | 38 |
| #9 | mitzy!!! | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myst-ical ballz | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | lawlkay | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ElephanT | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Coach Parnell | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | a idiot | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElephanT | 843 | 0.33 | 24 min |
| #2 | harbor | 624 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #3 | lawlkay | 316 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | a idiot | 265 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #5 | Coach Parnell | 160 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | +1.90 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | lawlkay | +1.62 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | Kezza | +1.51 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | mitzy!!! | +0.99 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | a idiot | +0.96 | 89 | 71 |





