








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 251 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2386 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1914 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1246 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2860 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,269,719 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | 90% | 20 |
| #2 | -ve | 84% | 32 |
| #3 | FL45H | 75% | 56 |
| #4 | crash | 73% | 221 |
| #5 | outzie | 72% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mav | 70% | 40 |
| #9 | qklE | 66% | 29 |
| #10 | Pinquii | 64% | 33 |
| #11 | AntelopeFunny | 63% | 43 |
| #12 | Dr Jiro | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crash | 30 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | outzie | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | mav | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | AntelopeFunny | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | hzdai | 4 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crash | 823 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | outzie | 562 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | mav | 203 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | FL45H | 165 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dr Jiro | 144 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shugg | +5.95 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | qklE | +3.04 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | crash | +2.62 | 76 | 53 |
| #4 | hzdai | +2.41 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | outzie | +1.44 | 73 | 62 |





