








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2794 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2576 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3092 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2254 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,299 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimpsa | 52% | 107 |
| #2 | Abusmal | 49% | 113 |
| #3 | Kanki | 49% | 107 |
| #4 | MITOMA L | 48% | 160 |
| #5 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | 47% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Kimpsa | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Robenov | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Abusmal | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Kanki | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | 981 | 0.21 | 31 min |
| #2 | MITOMA L | 784 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | Kimpsa | 384 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kanki | 371 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Abusmal | 365 | 0.15 | 12 min |





