








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2373 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3160 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2536 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2080 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,958 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MITOMA L | 51% | 228 |
| #2 | Kimpsa | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | 50% | 174 |
| #4 | Jeʞku | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | Abusmal | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jeʞku | 47% | 131 |
| #5 | Abusmal | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | Sutikka | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | Kanki | 41% | 58 |
| #8 | CARMENSEXBÄTÄNGq:-D *RAZER*BENQ | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kimpsa | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | MITOMA L | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | CARMENSEXBÄTÄNGq:-D *RAZER*BENQ | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Jeʞku | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MITOMA L | 1155 | 0.25 | 28 min |
| #2 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | 735 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #3 | Jeʞku | 279 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kimpsa | 233 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kanki | 195 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nicce\\\0gba-_x | +1.28 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | Kanki | +1.23 | 57 | 79 |
| #3 | Sutikka | +0.93 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | CARMENSEXBÄTÄNGq:-D *RAZER*BENQ | +0.54 | 84 | 70 |
| #5 | MITOMA L | -0.47 | 72 | 69 |





