








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4528 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6040 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4694 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4053 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,327,944 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHREK | 1329 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | The Entry | 1126 | 0.12 | 37 min |
| #3 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 918 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #4 | COACH | 444 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | MattMcD16 | 324 | 0.07 | 8 min |





