








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1738 | 32% |
| Smokes | 861 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1128 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1693 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $730,440 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lumber | 57% | 87 |
| #2 | Medik | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | ike^.- | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | baker | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 52% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | WDT | 50% | 56 |
| #8 | Blaze | 50% | 109 |
| #9 | Sora η©Ί | 47% | 110 |
| #10 | Blainezy | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Krycerick | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sora η©Ί | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | OhJay | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | WDT | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | baker | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 512 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Lumber | 399 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | OhJay | 281 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sora η©Ί | 266 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Blaze | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WDT | +3.91 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | ike^.- | +3.90 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Blaze | +2.02 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Krycerick | +0.52 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | OhJay | +0.39 | 61 | 63 |





