








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1782 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1078 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,939 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPLAXTER^TP | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Thorshi | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | Sultan | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | mV | 52% | 77 |
| #5 | h0ta | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ta | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Thorshi | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | mV | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Sultan | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ta | 332 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | peek a boo | 188 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Thorshi | 187 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | SPLAXTER^TP | 140 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sultan | 126 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mV | +2.12 | 57 | 50 |
| #2 | Thorshi | +1.15 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | peek a boo | +1.07 | 80 | 76 |
| #4 | Sultan | +0.95 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | h0ta | +0.41 | 63 | 61 |





