








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Renown | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4325 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3651 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4871 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3785 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,765 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPLAXTER^TP | 60% | 146 |
| #2 | tonae | 58% | 53 |
| #3 | h0ta | 55% | 229 |
| #4 | aX | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | TINTIN | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ta | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | peek a boo | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | tonae | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peek a boo | 876 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | h0ta | 839 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | SPLAXTER^TP | 611 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #4 | Sultan | 278 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | tonae | 182 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +1.69 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | mV | +0.60 | 58 | 54 |
| #3 | SPLAXTER^TP | +0.45 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | Thorshi | +0.40 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | peek a boo | +0.37 | 84 | 73 |





