








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 417 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7894 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7039 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5309 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6802 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,338,413 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPLAXTER^TP | 56% | 158 |
| #2 | Santa King™ | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | aurora☔ | 55% | 101 |
| #4 | ✪ Pullox | 54% | 81 |
| #5 | h0ta | 54% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Minnie | 50% | 52 |
| #14 | FuruaN | 49% | 41 |
| #15 | Thorshi | 49% | 259 |
| #16 | HaugeN | 48% | 80 |
| #17 | tonae | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ta | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Thorshi | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | mV | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Sultan | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | SPLAXTER^TP | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0ta | 925 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | Thorshi | 864 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | SPLAXTER^TP | 651 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | ✪ Pullox | 490 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #5 | aurora☔ | 406 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +1.94 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪ Pullox | +1.65 | 89 | 79 |
| #3 | FuruaN | +1.13 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | HaugeN | +1.01 | 85 | 42 |
| #5 | SPLAXTER^TP | +0.47 | 73 | 70 |





