








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3287 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2845 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2269 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1808 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,664 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tonae | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Thorshi | 60% | 146 |
| #3 | h0ta | 60% | 121 |
| #4 | Sultan | 57% | 175 |
| #5 | peek a boo | 56% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | h0ta | 60% | 121 |
| #4 | Sultan | 57% | 175 |
| #5 | peek a boo | 56% | 158 |
| #6 | mV | 55% | 166 |
| #7 | TINTIN | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mV | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | h0ta | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Sultan | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | peek a boo | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Thorshi | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peek a boo | 525 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Thorshi | 488 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | h0ta | 434 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Sultan | 265 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | mV | 124 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peek a boo | +0.73 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | mV | +0.59 | 58 | 61 |
| #3 | Thorshi | +0.39 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | SPLAXTER^TP | +0.34 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | Sultan | +0.21 | 80 | 66 |





