








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2189 | 35% |
| Smokes | 836 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1720 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1467 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,935 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LastSamurai- | 46% | 170 |
| #8 | pour me another | 43% | 72 |
| #9 | LukasL | 41% | 71 |
| #10 | nathanemertonn121 | 28% | 39 |
| #11 | aykin | 27% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | aykin | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | pour me another | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | LukasL | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 460 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | LukasL | 360 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | pour me another | 172 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Lagijar | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | aykin | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | +3.78 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | +2.11 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | pour me another | +1.70 | 63 | 73 |
| #4 | LukasL | +1.53 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | Lagijar | +0.19 | 63 | 77 |





