








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1034 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2550 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4128 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2553 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,551,897 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Guigs | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | Punished Ape | 49% | 39 |
| #11 | Kyo | 48% | 29 |
| #12 | Lagijar | 48% | 52 |
| #13 | minimoult21 | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | aykin | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | pour me another | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Punished Ape | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Kyo | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 706 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | LukasL | 667 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #3 | pour me another | 532 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | STAN | 159 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lagijar | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | +3.26 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Keturboy | +2.49 | 80 | 49 |
| #3 | pour me another | +2.39 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | +1.87 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | LukasL | +1.72 | 70 | 68 |





