








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 343 matches | ||
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7067 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8764 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7108 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6632 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,059,706 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | 63% | 108 |
| #2 | Guigs | 57% | 94 |
| #3 | Lagijar | 56% | 160 |
| #4 | Dougie | 55% | 172 |
| #5 | LastSamurai- | 55% | 660 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Kyo | 50% | 68 |
| #11 | Waifu | 48% | 138 |
| #12 | minimoult21 | 47% | 66 |
| #13 | STAN | 43% | 72 |
| #14 | nathanemertonn121 | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 47 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | aykin | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Guigs | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Dougie | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 1693 | 0.12 | 40 min |
| #2 | LukasL | 1468 | 0.21 | 38 min |
| #3 | Waifu | 531 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Lagijar | 498 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #5 | Punished Ape | 496 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | +2.36 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | pour me another | +1.58 | 65 | 71 |
| #3 | LukasL | +1.07 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Guigs | +0.98 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | +0.91 | 73 | 58 |





