








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6062 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3883 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3475 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4238 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,356,121 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | 73% | 73 |
| #2 | minimoult21 | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | aykin | 55% | 237 |
| #4 | Dougie | 54% | 140 |
| #5 | Guigs | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 41 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | aykin | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | pour me another | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Guigs | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Dougie | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pour me another | 1050 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #2 | LastSamurai- | 1038 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #3 | aykin | 435 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | STAN | 334 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Punished Ape | 318 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | +2.53 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Krupp Stahl Lenari | +1.89 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | pour me another | +1.67 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | LukasL | +1.40 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | Guigs | +0.52 | 81 | 60 |





