








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 29% |
| Smokes | 616 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 318 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,444 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arch3r | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | MikeIsEZ | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Vye | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | kam | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | SaltedCheeze | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | AnoniMouse | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | A sad cat | 43% | 35 |
| #11 | LowCiel | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | notorious | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | Firehawk | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kam | 2 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | Zyuwu | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | A sad cat | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Firehawk | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Packy | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyuwu | 335 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #2 | A sad cat | 224 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #3 | MikeIsEZ | 51 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| #4 | Firehawk | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Packy | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vye | +5.24 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Arch3r | +2.76 | 76 | 24 |
| #3 | Zyuwu | +1.78 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | kam | +1.65 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | Packy | -0.02 | 66 | 65 |





