








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2678 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1237 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2600 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,164,157 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabearSHARK | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | :)dembo | 42% | 31 |
| #3 | HOLY LAMB | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | Blobbins Sir Tompson | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | Packy | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | :)dembo | 42% | 31 |
| #3 | HOLY LAMB | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | Blobbins Sir Tompson | 38% | 16 |
| #5 | Packy | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | Regnar | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regnar | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Packy | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | :)dembo | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | HOLY LAMB | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Blobbins Sir Tompson | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regnar | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | dabearSHARK | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | :)dembo | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | HOLY LAMB | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Packy | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regnar | +3.74 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Packy | +2.60 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | :)dembo | +1.62 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | dabearSHARK | +1.40 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | Blobbins Sir Tompson | +1.38 | 78 | 65 |





