








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 527 | 15% |
| Smokes | 945 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1048 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,089 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scould_the_Kobold | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | expo | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | JustLaben | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | AnoniMouse | 44% | 133 |
| #5 | Shade | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JustLaben | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | AnoniMouse | 44% | 133 |
| #5 | Shade | 33% | 12 |
| #6 | LittleDick | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | draco | 0% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnoniMouse | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Scould_the_Kobold | 3 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | expo | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | JustLaben | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | draco | 2 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expo | 289 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | AnoniMouse | 280 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Shade | 54 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | draco | 42 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | JustLaben | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | expo | +6.60 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | JustLaben | +0.55 | 73 | 37 |
| #3 | Scould_the_Kobold | +0.45 | 36 | 62 |
| #4 | Firehawk | -0.60 | 48 | 44 |
| #5 | draco | -1.52 | 42 | 69 |





