








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1527 | 39% |
| Smokes | 882 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 545 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,097 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jt5mith | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Clearly KennyS | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Packy | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | bishop | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Zyuwu | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Shade | 43% | 35 |
| #7 | kam | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | timthebigone | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Firehawk | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | SaltedCheeze | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Packy | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Clearly KennyS | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Zyuwu | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | kam | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyuwu | 352 | 0.37 | 10 min |
| #2 | Shade | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Packy | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jt5mith | 18 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | timthebigone | 16 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Packy | +6.40 | 76 | 37 |
| #2 | Clearly KennyS | +3.67 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | Jt5mith | +1.55 | 92 | 42 |
| #4 | Zyuwu | +1.42 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | A sad cat | -0.74 | 69 | 62 |





