








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9000 | 41% |
| Smokes | 5938 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2163 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 4597 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,445 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vye | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | hayden1 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | UwU Jesus Chan | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Clearly KennyS | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | Arch3r | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | liable | 43% | 23 |
| #14 | kam | 42% | 71 |
| #15 | chill | 41% | 39 |
| #16 | Lee | 39% | 31 |
| #17 | Hawkish | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Packy | 449 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | A sad cat | 296 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #3 | kam | 258 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | aam | 170 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vye | 139 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chill | +1.89 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | Clearly KennyS | +1.63 | 76 | 43 |
| #3 | aam | +1.29 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | Arch3r | +1.19 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | Packy | +1.14 | 65 | 64 |





