








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 597 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6658 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5597 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5499 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4841 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,816,277 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrGerhard1 | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | Hattutehdas Oy | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | Eetu! "# | 60% | 57 |
| #4 | Nidelix | 60% | 89 |
| #5 | pHHENU | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | macDaddy | 53% | 189 |
| #11 | macMama | 53% | 140 |
| #12 | Meggala | 50% | 62 |
| #13 | Gangrene | 49% | 115 |
| #14 | KRUH .^.' | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macDaddy | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | t3k | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ℜ𝔲𝔲𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔱 ✟ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Hullukukko | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | pHHENU | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macDaddy | 397 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | t3k | 365 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nidelix | 313 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | KRUH .^.' | 302 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | DrGerhard1 | 298 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pHHENU | +4.24 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Eetu! "# | +2.73 | 83 | 41 |
| #3 | KRUH .^.' | +1.85 | 64 | 81 |
| #4 | macDaddy | +1.65 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | t3k | +1.62 | 58 | 67 |





