








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6258 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5944 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8683 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5897 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,626,503 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t3k | 53% | 377 |
| #2 | Hakzz | 53% | 189 |
| #3 | pHHENU | 51% | 271 |
| #4 | macMama | 47% | 588 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t3k | 53% | 377 |
| #2 | Hakzz | 53% | 189 |
| #3 | pHHENU | 51% | 271 |
| #4 | macMama | 47% | 588 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t3k | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | macMama | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Hakzz | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | pHHENU | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macMama | 844 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #2 | Hakzz | 696 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | t3k | 683 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #4 | pHHENU | 513 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pHHENU | +4.32 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | macDaddy | +2.47 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | t3k | +2.09 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | Hakzz | +1.51 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | macMama | -6.09 | 6 | 42 |





