








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3154 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4427 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4244 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3010 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,963 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakzz | 54% | 171 |
| #2 | macDaddy | 53% | 377 |
| #3 | pHHENU | 52% | 141 |
| #4 | macMama | 50% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakzz | 54% | 171 |
| #2 | macDaddy | 53% | 377 |
| #3 | pHHENU | 52% | 141 |
| #4 | macMama | 50% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macDaddy | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Hakzz | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | macMama | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | pHHENU | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macDaddy | 742 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Hakzz | 626 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | macMama | 335 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | pHHENU | 257 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pHHENU | +4.59 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | macDaddy | +2.08 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | t3k | +2.08 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | Hakzz | +1.58 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | macMama | -6.44 | 5 | 41 |





