








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3622 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4198 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4303 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,216,519 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakzz | 53% | 140 |
| #2 | pHHENU | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | t3k | 50% | 284 |
| #4 | macDaddy | 47% | 588 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakzz | 53% | 140 |
| #2 | pHHENU | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | t3k | 50% | 284 |
| #4 | macDaddy | 47% | 588 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macDaddy | 35 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Hakzz | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | t3k | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | pHHENU | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macDaddy | 1149 | 0.10 | 28 min |
| #2 | t3k | 527 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hakzz | 466 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | pHHENU | 410 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pHHENU | +4.48 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | macDaddy | +2.71 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | t3k | +2.53 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | Hakzz | +2.48 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | macMama | -6.09 | 6 | 42 |





