








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1053 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1751 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2411 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1979 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,898 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wicked Wall | 49% | 214 |
| #2 | Volibear | 47% | 106 |
| #3 | Solid Kuk | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | bloodfarts | 44% | 230 |
| #5 | nikz | 43% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Volibear | 47% | 106 |
| #3 | Solid Kuk | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | bloodfarts | 44% | 230 |
| #5 | nikz | 43% | 183 |
| #6 | Floor Goblin | 40% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wicked Wall | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | bloodfarts | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | nikz | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Solid Kuk | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Volibear | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solid Kuk | 622 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | nikz | 458 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | The Wicked Wall | 313 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | bloodfarts | 285 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Volibear | 242 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nikz | +1.09 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Volibear | +0.49 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | bloodfarts | +0.17 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | The Wicked Wall | +0.16 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Floor Goblin | -0.84 | 55 | 53 |





