








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2995 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4477 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3852 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2413 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,312,320 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wicked Wall | 50% | 335 |
| #2 | nikz | 47% | 278 |
| #3 | Solid Kuk | 46% | 283 |
| #4 | Volibear | 46% | 228 |
| #5 | Wiz | 44% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | II.Steez | 43% | 58 |
| #7 | Floor Goblin | 42% | 187 |
| #8 | Qualliano | 34% | 29 |
| #9 | RIMIC | 34% | 53 |
| #10 | ♥ Henjo ♥ | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wicked Wall | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Volibear | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | nikz | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Solid Kuk | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | II.Steez | 10 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solid Kuk | 1054 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | nikz | 695 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Volibear | 575 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | The Wicked Wall | 456 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | II.Steez | 217 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nikz | +1.43 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | bloodfarts | +0.47 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Qualliano | +0.45 | 73 | 41 |
| #4 | Volibear | +0.41 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | The Wicked Wall | +0.00 | 74 | 60 |





