








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1704 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2216 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2960 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2316 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,598,825 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximator | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Solid Kuk | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | nikz | 46% | 80 |
| #4 | II.Steez | 44% | 45 |
| #5 | The Wicked Wall | 42% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volibear | 20 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | bloodfarts | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | The Wicked Wall | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | II.Steez | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | nikz | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volibear | 470 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | bloodfarts | 256 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Solid Kuk | 230 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | nikz | 194 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | The Wicked Wall | 171 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximator | +3.53 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | nikz | +1.92 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | bloodfarts | +1.04 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Qualliano | +0.90 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Volibear | +0.43 | 79 | 61 |





