








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4077 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3547 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2543 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2774 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,350 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | II.Steez | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Volibear | 48% | 108 |
| #3 | The Wicked Wall | 48% | 198 |
| #4 | bloodfarts | 46% | 283 |
| #5 | Floor Goblin | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bloodfarts | 46% | 283 |
| #5 | Floor Goblin | 46% | 67 |
| #6 | nikz | 45% | 198 |
| #7 | Wiz | 45% | 150 |
| #8 | RIMIC | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Wicked Wall | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | bloodfarts | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Volibear | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | nikz | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | II.Steez | 4 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nikz | 508 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Volibear | 290 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | The Wicked Wall | 272 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | bloodfarts | 241 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wiz | 99 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nikz | +1.64 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Volibear | +0.52 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | The Wicked Wall | +0.25 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | bloodfarts | +0.19 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | II.Steez | -0.97 | 48 | 52 |





