








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5354 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4445 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4400 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3126 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,380 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gimp | 66% | 73 |
| #2 | aam | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | max | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Gibby | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | espresso martini | 56% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | espresso martini | 56% | 78 |
| #6 | tkefni | 56% | 243 |
| #7 | zoopr3me | 55% | 47 |
| #8 | Willy Mcdougall | 54% | 90 |
| #9 | JR | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 28 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | espresso martini | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Willy Mcdougall | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | aam | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | zoopr3me | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 1385 | 0.28 | 42 min |
| #2 | espresso martini | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | gimp | 184 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | aam | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | zoopr3me | 117 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | +3.09 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | espresso martini | +2.22 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | tkefni | +2.16 | 78 | 84 |
| #4 | JR | +2.13 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Gibby | +1.60 | 83 | 49 |





