








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5354 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4445 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4400 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3126 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,690 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gimp | 66% | 73 |
| #2 | aam | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | max | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Gibby | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | espresso martini | 56% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | espresso martini | 56% | 78 |
| #6 | tkefni | 56% | 243 |
| #7 | zoopr3me | 55% | 47 |
| #8 | Willy Mcdougall | 54% | 90 |
| #9 | JR | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 20 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | espresso martini | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | aam | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Willy Mcdougall | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | zoopr3me | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 643 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | espresso martini | 172 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | aam | 98 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | gimp | 89 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | zoopr3me | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | espresso martini | +2.26 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | max | +1.91 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | Gibby | +1.57 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | JR | +1.32 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | tkefni | +1.23 | 78 | 83 |





